Jaded

We love each other because he loved us first. If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters. (1 John 4:19-21 NLT)

There is a lot that goes on in my brain on a daily basis. However, I am not very forthcoming with my thoughts. This blog is a way to help remedy that. I have guarded myself by not allowing very many people to know the true me. I can name 2 or 3 people who know the deepest part of my soul, and one is my husband. This was not always the case. I used to feel more free.

But over time, the reality of the human race was revealed. Everyone judges, whether a casual acquaintance or a close friend. Loyalty, mercy, grace, and patience are rarely offered up without something required in return. Selflessness is not displayed. Even the most “Christian” person can pick apart another with such ferocity if given the chance to be heard. And they will be heard. We thrive on gossip. So after witnessing enough instances of ill speak, it’s natural that we all began to mistrust any word said to our face. We know what happens when are backs are turned. We become hypersensitive to a look or glance, naturally assuming that we have offended or failed expectations. Because we know the nature that is inside of us is the same nature inside of others. We have been on the bandwagon of destruction. We make the judgmental comments and in turn cause another person to feel the uncertainty of an unexplained glance. We have elevated ourselves. We elevate ourselves on the misconception that status and the perceptions that others have of us actually matter. That peer validation actually serves an eternal purpose. That our judgements towards others make us better than them.

I have never been so keenly aware of how the lies of sin ensnare us. We are immersed in a world built of lies. In any given day, there are an innumerable amount of choices I make based upon lies that are ingrained with in me. What I feel entitled to. How I carry myself. How I expect to be treated. How I group types of people. I wish there was a way to know what God really had in mind for us. How this life as a people group was supposed to operate. We generally treat others like trash. It is extremely rare to find a person who will wholeheartedly put every other person above themselves. I am so far beyond embarrassed at the way I allow myself to think.

Can you imagine the world we would live in if we allowed Christ to renew our mind completely? I really feel like God is pleading with me to let Him undo all the damage I have created in my thinking. To show me how I am supposed to care for those that He created. Because I continually fail.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7:21-25 NLT)

Don’t misread what I am saying. God sees the times that I try and the times where His grace, love, and patience are shown through me. He knows the truth of our hearts. He know if we are trying to abandon the way we have become. He shows us grace and mercy when the results of our sinful nature rear their head instead of the love that lives inside of us. But I want the world to know that God loves them. I do not want to stand in the way.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. (Ephesians 4:21-24 NLT)