Unexpected

I didn’t want to do a podcast. I’m not great at speaking.  In fact, I’m pretty terrible at it.  I get nervous, I stumble over my words, I flat out forget common words. Sometimes I even forget whole sentences and don’t complete my thoughts. Which, you can actually hear in our first 4 episodes of our podcast.  It’s been a time of stretching, growth, and swallowing my pride to allow myself to not be proficient at something. 

So how did this even come about? Earlier this year, Alicia and I were at a conference with our friend Beth. As we left, we began talking about me starting to write more, about our desire for others to know God more. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Alicia said “we could do a podcast together!”  Which is just funny really.  Because there are times when you say something outlandish, but don’t really mean it. The intention is to convey that it would be totally awesome, but everyone knows that it’s not really going to happen. But what Alicia didn’t know, until we recorded our trailer, is that sometime last year I had started making jokes about us doing a podcast.  I would say “my friend Alicia and I could do a podcast.  She’s funny, and I know how to make her funny.” This went on for several months. I didn’t think much about it, except I just wondered why I kept saying it. But, when she said those words “hey we could do a podcast”, my mind recalled every time I made that joke, all at once. My heart was pricked, and God confirmed what he had already planted in my heart to do.

And honestly, it all just feels so weird to even say any of this. I’m not this person. I enjoy being behind the scenes making things work for the other people doing the things in front of the people.  But I’m taking this incredibly weird step of faith — to have fun, to share something not at all professional, or polished, or perfect. Even if I listen to each episode and cringe at how my words came out or how some of them never even came out at all. 

So we did the thing. We have our voices and our conversations recorded and shared and out in the world. Just our candid, honest conversations of how our week is, how our time with the Lord is going, our thoughts on what we are reading. 

If I can convey anything, I hope it is this: It is ridiculous to think that our words are amazing.  Nothing we say is overly spiritual or special.  It is just honest. It is where we are at in our life. It is who we are, and I think most important – it is who we are becoming.  It’s a weekly look at our lives lived in an up close way to see the slow nature of who God is.  And I believe that is important. Because transformation is slow. And God is so good at transforming us into who we are designed to be, if we just let Him.

So here is my attempt to let Him, taking the steps to allow God to do what only He can do.  Because all of this?  It is definitely not from me.

If you want to hear this journey, we would love to have you listen to our podcast, Hello Accountability.